In Sickness and in Health

“In Sickness and in Health”

“In Sickness and in Health”- a simple line in traditional wedding vows, but  words my grandfather Louis C. Ridenour has taught me the true meaning. Sixty years ago,  on October 17th, 1954, my grandparents Louis and Naomi (Mendenhall) Ridenour were married at Morningside Gospel Church in South Bend. They met in the third grade at Mount Pleasant School, a three room country school house. For my grandfather, it was love at first sight. My grandmother, however, was not impressed by the love notes he would write her. I remember my grandmother telling me, how on one ocassion the teacher caught my grandfather wrting her a note and made him read it aloud to the class. My grandfather continued his persistance, depsite my grandmother’s continual rejection. His interest continued on into High School and even after graduation. Finally, on one ocassion he called my grandmother and asked to take her to church and she finally said YES! They began dating and sixty years later, have 2 daughters and son-in-laws, 6 grandchildren and 5 great-grandchildren. Ten years ago, my grandmother wrote a short article in honor of their 50th wedding anniversary. I know that if she could, she would write one for their 60th anniversary.  It was around that time ten years ago, we began noticing that she was forgetting many things. Five years later, she was diagnosed with Alzheimers. Today, she does not recognize many people and sadly, sometimes does not remember me. We have watched her memory slowly fade away, however, she has not forgotten the old gospel hymns or my grandfather.  When I see her, or call her, I enjoy singing with her, for in these moments, I have my grandmother with me for a little while. When I ask her a question and she does not know how to respond, she replies “Better ask the boss, Louie knows what is best”. Happy 60th anniversary Grandma and Grandpa. Thank you Grandpa, for showing us through your actions, the true meaning of love. 

My grandmother wrote this for their 50th Anniversary

Last names

Every since I can remember, I  have said that I was not going to change my last name. The conversation of whether or not a woman should change her last name is an interesting topic. I have come to the conclusion that as much as it is a personal choice, it is also a reflection of your culture.

For example, here in Spain a woman would  never consider changing her last name. For her to change her last name is to give up her identity as one Spanish friend explained to me. Let me explain: In Spain and other Latin American countries, children take on both their father´s and mother´s last name. Example:

 My dad is : Gary Alan Landaw

My mom is : Kristi Lynn Ridenour ( her maiden name)

I would then be: Amy Charisse Landaw Ridenour

My last names would be: Landaw Ridenour

Every time I fill out a form in Spain it always asks for my First Name,  First Last Name and my Second Last Name.

Of course, I always leave the Second Last Name blank.

I write Amy Charisse as my first name and Landaw as my last.

But what happens? I receive phone calls looking for Ms. Charisse....

Looking at my name they assume Amy is my first name, Charisse is my first last name and Landaw is my second last name.

Jorge does not have a middle name. Instead, he has two last names : Ortiz Remolina. Ortiz being his dad's first last name and Remolina his mom's first last name.

I was not sure how I wanted to be introduced after being pronounced man and wife but opted for the traditional- Mr and Mrs. Ortiz. This of course was followed by questions by my friends-- So are you actually going to change your name???

At the moment my legal name remains Amy Charisse Landaw. If we were to move to the USA I might be more likely to change my name. I told Jorge that as a Spanish teacher I might have better chances finidng a job as Amy Ortiz than Amy Landaw- ha!

The truth is as long as we live in Spain I can't change my name without going through an extremely long process. As I said before, women don't change their names here. It is not part of their culture. Anyone can legally change their name,  but it costs a lot of money and you have to go before a judge and it takes a really long time.

 If I change my name in the USA, then my passport and other documents will  have to be changed. When renewing residency here this will be a challenge to make them understand that I have one name in the USA and another here. So to keep things simple I am not changing my name. Am I bothered when I receive something addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Ortiz?  Not at all.

Some may ask- what about your children? That is a whole other topic in itself and we will cross that bridge when the time comes. If our kids were to have two last names there last names would be: Ortiz Landaw. But honestly, I think that looks a bit silly. But like many other things, it will all depend on where we are living and what is the easiest option. 

Things in Spain...

Often, people back in the USA ask me- what is it like in Spain? That of course is a hard question to answer. At this point, I have lived here over 4 years plus 5 summers, however, there are some things no matter how long I live here I'll never quite get used to. On the other hand, there are some things that I have adapted to quite well.

Space
First of all, things are much smaller here in Spain. Everything. From meal portions, drink sizes, to cars and homes everything is smaller. For example, for the past three years I have lived in a 376 sq ft studio 35sq m). It was ok for me until I got married- sharing 376 square feet with someone is kind of hard. We have now moved into a bigger place, and by bigger I mean 540 sq ft (50m sq)! To us it seems huge! I must point out that most cities in Spain whether large or small have large block of buildings that people live in. It's kind of like apartments. On each floor there might be between 2-6 other apartments. If you want to have an actual "house" you need to go to the suburbs- but that would be about an hour away here in Madrid. You can find bigger apartments here in Madrid, but rent is expensive and we pay more for our one bedroom than what a three bedroom apartment would cost in Indiana!.

Siesta
When I first came to Spain in 2003 I had read about "siestas" but thought it was something of the past. No- even in 2012 it is still alive and well. Normally between 2-5 p.m stores close. A typical shop will be open from 10-2 and re open from 5-8. In Salamanca I got used to this, but here in Madrid it surprises that in the big city many stores still close during this time. Some stores do remain open, but not all. What exactly is a siesta- it's a short mid-day nap. You see lunch time in Spain is anywhere between  2:00p.m-3:00p.m. After lunch, some people might take a short nap before heading back to work. In recent years this is changing and some people work a more "American schedule from 8-5, 9-6....Jorge for examples starts work at 8 and finishes at 5.


August
August is vacation month in Spain. During this month many Spanish people head to the beach, mountains or their hometown. One difference between the USA and Spain is that since many people go on vacation in August, many places close for the entire month! I was trying to make an appointment for Jorge as he has been having some muscle pain in his back. I spent over an hour calling places only to find out they are closed the entire month. At night we go walking and have come across many restaurants that are closed for the whole month- others for 2 weeks. Spain right now is suffering a horrible crisis and it surprises me that people still take a month long vacation despite the circumstances. But one thing I have learned here is that traditions are very important and almost a sin to break.

Transportation
When I lived in Indiana I used my car to go everywhere. The last time I drove was in April- when we were in Puerto Rico. Here in Spain my main form of transportation is by walking or taking the bus and subway. The transportation system here is actually pretty amazing, even in small towns. Spanish cities and towns are well connected by buses and trains and once in the city have city buses that  take you everywhere. Also, taxis are not overly expensive as in the USA. A few months ago we had talked about buying a car off of one of Jorge's friends- one of the main reasons being it was automatic and automatic cars are hard to come by here!! After much consideration we decide not to- Where would we keep it? We would have to rent a parking space ( over 100 dollars a month). Also, inside the city parking is hard to find- we would probably use it only to go outside of Madrid. We decided to postpone our car purchase for a little while. Many people use scooters and motorcycles to get around town- Jorge's dream would be for us to get a scooter or motorcycle- but that dream is just going to have to wait.

Laundry
The other day upon reflecting on my time here, it dawned on me that I have not used a dryer (except for my visits to the USA) in over 3 years. Most homes do not come with dryers. My wash machine is in the kitchen- at the last house it was in the bathroom. You can buy a dryer, but where would I put it? There is no room. So most people line dry their clothes. At first this was a bit difficult for me to get used to, but now it's just a part of life. That said,  I have let Jorge know that if we are still living in Spain when we have kids, we are moving to a place where I can have a dryer. Line drying our clothes is one thing, but I can't imagine line drying a whole family's worth of laundry! However, many people here do it, so I know it can be done.

My list could go on and on, and perhaps at another time I will explain some other differences. Every country has it set of challenges, the important thing is to keep an open mind and just go with the flow- sometimes that is easier said than do.

My life

Three years ago today I left my job in the USA, sold my car, packed my belongings and moved to Spain. I really had no idea what to expect, all I knew was that I needed to go to Spain; Salamanca, Spain to be more exact. I had spent every summer since 2003 in Salamanca, so already the city felt like home. Spending a summer in a town, however, is much different from day-to-day living. I already had a small group of friends and a church to attend. I became active in my church and made more friends at church and outside of church.

In September of 2009 I spent the weekend in Madrid, visitng friends and attending a church I once attended. ( I lived in Madrid in 2005-2006). While in Madrid, a friend introduced me to a friend of hers: Jorge. It was not love at first sight by any means. I thought he talked too much and had a strange accent when he spoke Spanish.

I would visit Madrid from time to time and we became friends.

In November 2009 a group from Madrid came to visit the church in Salamanca. Jorge was part of the group. It was the first time I saw him differently. That weekend we worked together organizing the events for the weekend and I got to know him better. I started praying against liking him. I did not want to like him. There was a long line of girls after him. On top of that he felt called into ministry and wanted to be a minister- not really what I wanted.

December 2009 my mom called me. She told me she had cancer. It was awful. Knowing that a family member of yours has cancer is a horrible feeling. Being so far away makes it so much worse. I didn´t know what to do. Should I leave Spain? Where were they going to be? Was she going to have treatments in Puerto Rico? Indiana? Should I move there? What about my job? If I leave where will I work? What if my mom dies? What will my dad do? What if my mom doesn´t get to see me get married? What if she never meets my children? All of this questions were flooding my mind. I was a wreck. I was all alone in Salamanca. December was a very dark month. I didn´t want to go to work. I was counting down the days to fly to the USA. The only motivation that got me out of bed was my private classes with an adorable 6 year old that showered me everyday with hugs and kisses. I still remain friends with her and her family.

I spent Christmas with my family and went with my mom to her doctors appointments. Soon my time was up and needed to head back to Spain. Going back to Spain was the hardest thing ever.

Sometime in January I was in Madrid and Jorge asked me for my number. On February 1st, 2010 he called me for the first time. To make a long story short- we dated long distance ( I was in Salamanca, he was in Madrid) until I moved to Madrid last August. I did not want to move to Madrid, but I am glad I did. After a year and a half of long distance dating, we were finally in the same city! On April 6th, 2012 in San Juan, Puerto Rico we were married. It was a dream come true. 

Three years have come and gone and all I can say is that God has blessed me beyond what I could ever imagine. There were times I questions my decision to come here, but I know it was the right decision. So much has happened over the past three years and lately I have felt the need to blog. Why? You might ask. As the years go by, it becomes harder to keep in touch with friends. I want to have an outlet to stay connected with friends in the USA. Also, life here is so different, but not in a bad way. I want to write about my everyday experiences here in Spain. Some days I might complain, some days I might be sad, but other days I may share interesting things that happen here and remind myself why I love Spain. I hope you will join me as I try to blog about my everyday adventures in Spain. 

Where are you from?

For some, the question "Where are you from?" is quite simple. For others, it is quite complicated. I have realized that my answers vary depending on different factors: where I am at at the moment, who I am speaking with and how much time I have. Let me explain.

I am currently at a training seminar for this upcoming academic year. I am 1 of 60 North American teachers that have been selected to participate in a pilot program in bilingual schools across Spain. Today we have spent time learning about this new program and of course getting to know our fellow colleagues. So, of course after asking "What's your name?", my most dreaded question, "Where are you from?" comes. To make things simple I respond with "Indiana". But to be honest, I feel so strange as I say this. My place of birth is in fact Mishawaka, Indiana- but I never lived there. The only place I lived in the USA was Indiana, but I didn't move there until I was 17.  I feel somewhat guilty when I say Indiana as it's to say that I have betrayed my other countries (Puerto Rico and Trinidad).  But really, who wants to hear my 15 minute story documenting every single time I moved and every place I have lived. Now, I will be honest- sometimes I do go into the long story, but it depends on my mood and once again, who I am speaking with.

Now in other contexts here in Spain when interacting with Spanish people, I have no problem saying that I am from the United States. After all, it was the last place I lived in before moving here.  I studied and worked in Indiana for 10 years. If anything, I have realized that I feel more American here than when I lived in the USA. The last 2 years in Spain have made me realized how American I really am.

I spent a month back in Puerto Rico this summer and I realized how hard it was for me to say that I was from Indiana there. I mean, I lived in Puerto Rico for 8.5 years...I spent a great part of my childhood there. Puerto Rico feels like home; one of them anyways. To say I am from Indiana, seems like I am ignoring a big chunk of my childhood. My brother always says I am jealous of him because he was born in Puerto Rico; maybe he is right.

In Trinidad I hate being labeled as an American. My sister was born there, so she is a "Trini". I lived there for 6.5 years,  I spent many summers visiting my parents there, Trinidad also feels like home.

Counting all my summers and other time here and there in Spain it adds up to over 3 years that I have called Spain home. I recently moved to Madrid and have gone back to Salamanca (where I have been living the last few years) a few times and on each occasion,  have mentioned that I am going "home" for the weekend.

So where is home? Where am I from? The answer is all of the above. No matter where I am, where I live, where I go, part of me will always be longing for somewhere else, part of me will always feel a bit foreign. But I am ok with that. In my early twenties, I was on this quest to find out who I was and where I was from. I have learned that all of my experiences, all of the countries I have lived in and the cultures I have experienced have helped shape me and mold me into the person God wants me to be. 

Lunes de Aguas

Today is Lunes de Aguas- Water Monday. I had never heard of this tradition/celebration until moving to Salamanca in 2009. I had been at the High School for about a week when a group of 13 year old students asked me if I had heard about "Water Monday".  I informed them that I had never heard of it and for them to explain this to me. The explanation went something along the lines of this..

Student 1: it's a day we go to river or country side to eat hornazo (a pastry filled with meats) to celebrate prostitutes.
Me: WHAT?!?!
Student 2: yes, the priest take prostitutes to other side of river and after Holy Week they come back and make big party.
Me: Ok, I really don't believe you all.

Not wanting to ask a teacher upon arriving to my house, I googled "Lunes de Aguas" and this is what I found:
http://www.donquijote.org/culture/spain/fiestas/lunes-aguas.asp

History

The history of Lunes de Aguas is a rather curious story, to say the least, a tradition dating back to medieval times. Along with a prestigious university, Salamanca also had prostitutes who hoping to eventually make it to the royal courts, practiced (so to speak) with the university students. In the 16th century, King Felipe II, who was known as a very serious and devout Catholic, was disgusted with the marginal activities taking place in Spain’s prominent academic hub, therefore ordered the prostitutes be banished from the city during the 40-day abstinence period of Lent.

For 40 days, the girls would be confined to live on the other side of the river Tormes until Lunes de Aguas – the day they could return to the city. Townsfolk would gather to watch how the students set up huge welcoming parties by the riverbanks for the prostitutes, and enthusiastically assist the priest (who was in charge of the girls’ welfare during their exile) in crossing them over the river on flower-decorated boats. The rest of the day would be spent eating, drinking, and celebrating by the river, whose waters gave name to the event. Only the last part of the celebration, however, is the one that continues as tradition today.

Today

Nowadays, friends and family meet at the riverbanks of Salamanca’s Río Tormes and any open space such as public parks or countryside to share what is essentially a huge picnic. It is a time whenSalmantinos relax, have fun, and eat the typical hornazo - a non sweet pastry pie filled with ham, sausage, bacon, cooked egg, and sometimes even chicken – which is sold in shops all over the city. Most businesses also voluntarily close for the day in order to partake in this festivity.

The next day I asked a teacher at school about this and she basically gave me the same explanation.

So today is Lunes de Aguas and I am free for the afternoon. Last year I was not hear for Lunes de Aguas so it is my first time to celebrate it. I have been invited to go with some friends to a small village outside of Salamanca and look forward to visiting http://www.candelario.info/

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A month in my life...

I've decided to try to blog everyday this month; we will see if I can actually do it. Whenever I go back to the USA or even when I visited Puerto Rico, everyone asks me "What is it like living in Spain"? That is a question that is impossible to answer in one sentence. In order to truly answer that question I would need hours to explain what life is like here. Hopefully, by blogging about my everyday experiences this month, people can catch a glimpse into what my life is like here. It is so very different from any other place I've ever lived. Having said that, every place I've lived in has it's own uniqueness. Puerto Rico, Trinidad, USA and now Spain all places I have called home; yet in all I always feel somewhat of a foreigner.

One thing I have learned during my time here, is I feel more comfortable being an American abroad, than an American in the USA. How so? You might ask. Well, in the USA I always felt a little foreign, I mean I didn't grow up there! My first 17 years although raised by American parents, were spent in the Caribbean. There were many things about American culture that I had no idea about until I moved there. In fact, I feel I have learned more about American culture here in Spain than while I lived there. Part of my job requires me to share American culture with my students...it's quite interesting trying to explain things to a group of 12-16 year olds and try to break stereotypes they have seen in films, TV, etc. At the same time, it's interesting how true some of these stereotypes are...