Last names

Every since I can remember, I  have said that I was not going to change my last name. The conversation of whether or not a woman should change her last name is an interesting topic. I have come to the conclusion that as much as it is a personal choice, it is also a reflection of your culture.

For example, here in Spain a woman would  never consider changing her last name. For her to change her last name is to give up her identity as one Spanish friend explained to me. Let me explain: In Spain and other Latin American countries, children take on both their father´s and mother´s last name. Example:

 My dad is : Gary Alan Landaw

My mom is : Kristi Lynn Ridenour ( her maiden name)

I would then be: Amy Charisse Landaw Ridenour

My last names would be: Landaw Ridenour

Every time I fill out a form in Spain it always asks for my First Name,  First Last Name and my Second Last Name.

Of course, I always leave the Second Last Name blank.

I write Amy Charisse as my first name and Landaw as my last.

But what happens? I receive phone calls looking for Ms. Charisse....

Looking at my name they assume Amy is my first name, Charisse is my first last name and Landaw is my second last name.

Jorge does not have a middle name. Instead, he has two last names : Ortiz Remolina. Ortiz being his dad's first last name and Remolina his mom's first last name.

I was not sure how I wanted to be introduced after being pronounced man and wife but opted for the traditional- Mr and Mrs. Ortiz. This of course was followed by questions by my friends-- So are you actually going to change your name???

At the moment my legal name remains Amy Charisse Landaw. If we were to move to the USA I might be more likely to change my name. I told Jorge that as a Spanish teacher I might have better chances finidng a job as Amy Ortiz than Amy Landaw- ha!

The truth is as long as we live in Spain I can't change my name without going through an extremely long process. As I said before, women don't change their names here. It is not part of their culture. Anyone can legally change their name,  but it costs a lot of money and you have to go before a judge and it takes a really long time.

 If I change my name in the USA, then my passport and other documents will  have to be changed. When renewing residency here this will be a challenge to make them understand that I have one name in the USA and another here. So to keep things simple I am not changing my name. Am I bothered when I receive something addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Ortiz?  Not at all.

Some may ask- what about your children? That is a whole other topic in itself and we will cross that bridge when the time comes. If our kids were to have two last names there last names would be: Ortiz Landaw. But honestly, I think that looks a bit silly. But like many other things, it will all depend on where we are living and what is the easiest option. 

Things in Spain...

Often, people back in the USA ask me- what is it like in Spain? That of course is a hard question to answer. At this point, I have lived here over 4 years plus 5 summers, however, there are some things no matter how long I live here I'll never quite get used to. On the other hand, there are some things that I have adapted to quite well.

Space
First of all, things are much smaller here in Spain. Everything. From meal portions, drink sizes, to cars and homes everything is smaller. For example, for the past three years I have lived in a 376 sq ft studio 35sq m). It was ok for me until I got married- sharing 376 square feet with someone is kind of hard. We have now moved into a bigger place, and by bigger I mean 540 sq ft (50m sq)! To us it seems huge! I must point out that most cities in Spain whether large or small have large block of buildings that people live in. It's kind of like apartments. On each floor there might be between 2-6 other apartments. If you want to have an actual "house" you need to go to the suburbs- but that would be about an hour away here in Madrid. You can find bigger apartments here in Madrid, but rent is expensive and we pay more for our one bedroom than what a three bedroom apartment would cost in Indiana!.

Siesta
When I first came to Spain in 2003 I had read about "siestas" but thought it was something of the past. No- even in 2012 it is still alive and well. Normally between 2-5 p.m stores close. A typical shop will be open from 10-2 and re open from 5-8. In Salamanca I got used to this, but here in Madrid it surprises that in the big city many stores still close during this time. Some stores do remain open, but not all. What exactly is a siesta- it's a short mid-day nap. You see lunch time in Spain is anywhere between  2:00p.m-3:00p.m. After lunch, some people might take a short nap before heading back to work. In recent years this is changing and some people work a more "American schedule from 8-5, 9-6....Jorge for examples starts work at 8 and finishes at 5.


August
August is vacation month in Spain. During this month many Spanish people head to the beach, mountains or their hometown. One difference between the USA and Spain is that since many people go on vacation in August, many places close for the entire month! I was trying to make an appointment for Jorge as he has been having some muscle pain in his back. I spent over an hour calling places only to find out they are closed the entire month. At night we go walking and have come across many restaurants that are closed for the whole month- others for 2 weeks. Spain right now is suffering a horrible crisis and it surprises me that people still take a month long vacation despite the circumstances. But one thing I have learned here is that traditions are very important and almost a sin to break.

Transportation
When I lived in Indiana I used my car to go everywhere. The last time I drove was in April- when we were in Puerto Rico. Here in Spain my main form of transportation is by walking or taking the bus and subway. The transportation system here is actually pretty amazing, even in small towns. Spanish cities and towns are well connected by buses and trains and once in the city have city buses that  take you everywhere. Also, taxis are not overly expensive as in the USA. A few months ago we had talked about buying a car off of one of Jorge's friends- one of the main reasons being it was automatic and automatic cars are hard to come by here!! After much consideration we decide not to- Where would we keep it? We would have to rent a parking space ( over 100 dollars a month). Also, inside the city parking is hard to find- we would probably use it only to go outside of Madrid. We decided to postpone our car purchase for a little while. Many people use scooters and motorcycles to get around town- Jorge's dream would be for us to get a scooter or motorcycle- but that dream is just going to have to wait.

Laundry
The other day upon reflecting on my time here, it dawned on me that I have not used a dryer (except for my visits to the USA) in over 3 years. Most homes do not come with dryers. My wash machine is in the kitchen- at the last house it was in the bathroom. You can buy a dryer, but where would I put it? There is no room. So most people line dry their clothes. At first this was a bit difficult for me to get used to, but now it's just a part of life. That said,  I have let Jorge know that if we are still living in Spain when we have kids, we are moving to a place where I can have a dryer. Line drying our clothes is one thing, but I can't imagine line drying a whole family's worth of laundry! However, many people here do it, so I know it can be done.

My list could go on and on, and perhaps at another time I will explain some other differences. Every country has it set of challenges, the important thing is to keep an open mind and just go with the flow- sometimes that is easier said than do.

My life

Three years ago today I left my job in the USA, sold my car, packed my belongings and moved to Spain. I really had no idea what to expect, all I knew was that I needed to go to Spain; Salamanca, Spain to be more exact. I had spent every summer since 2003 in Salamanca, so already the city felt like home. Spending a summer in a town, however, is much different from day-to-day living. I already had a small group of friends and a church to attend. I became active in my church and made more friends at church and outside of church.

In September of 2009 I spent the weekend in Madrid, visitng friends and attending a church I once attended. ( I lived in Madrid in 2005-2006). While in Madrid, a friend introduced me to a friend of hers: Jorge. It was not love at first sight by any means. I thought he talked too much and had a strange accent when he spoke Spanish.

I would visit Madrid from time to time and we became friends.

In November 2009 a group from Madrid came to visit the church in Salamanca. Jorge was part of the group. It was the first time I saw him differently. That weekend we worked together organizing the events for the weekend and I got to know him better. I started praying against liking him. I did not want to like him. There was a long line of girls after him. On top of that he felt called into ministry and wanted to be a minister- not really what I wanted.

December 2009 my mom called me. She told me she had cancer. It was awful. Knowing that a family member of yours has cancer is a horrible feeling. Being so far away makes it so much worse. I didn´t know what to do. Should I leave Spain? Where were they going to be? Was she going to have treatments in Puerto Rico? Indiana? Should I move there? What about my job? If I leave where will I work? What if my mom dies? What will my dad do? What if my mom doesn´t get to see me get married? What if she never meets my children? All of this questions were flooding my mind. I was a wreck. I was all alone in Salamanca. December was a very dark month. I didn´t want to go to work. I was counting down the days to fly to the USA. The only motivation that got me out of bed was my private classes with an adorable 6 year old that showered me everyday with hugs and kisses. I still remain friends with her and her family.

I spent Christmas with my family and went with my mom to her doctors appointments. Soon my time was up and needed to head back to Spain. Going back to Spain was the hardest thing ever.

Sometime in January I was in Madrid and Jorge asked me for my number. On February 1st, 2010 he called me for the first time. To make a long story short- we dated long distance ( I was in Salamanca, he was in Madrid) until I moved to Madrid last August. I did not want to move to Madrid, but I am glad I did. After a year and a half of long distance dating, we were finally in the same city! On April 6th, 2012 in San Juan, Puerto Rico we were married. It was a dream come true. 

Three years have come and gone and all I can say is that God has blessed me beyond what I could ever imagine. There were times I questions my decision to come here, but I know it was the right decision. So much has happened over the past three years and lately I have felt the need to blog. Why? You might ask. As the years go by, it becomes harder to keep in touch with friends. I want to have an outlet to stay connected with friends in the USA. Also, life here is so different, but not in a bad way. I want to write about my everyday experiences here in Spain. Some days I might complain, some days I might be sad, but other days I may share interesting things that happen here and remind myself why I love Spain. I hope you will join me as I try to blog about my everyday adventures in Spain.